just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
