Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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