Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
