Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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