hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
