so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
