the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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