I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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