Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
