Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
