I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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