Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
