when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
