she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
