he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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