Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
