I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
