i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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