flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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