that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
