Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
