He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
