i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
