I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize
