I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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