I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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