The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My feet surprised me
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