Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
