I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Shame - the story of my life.
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