btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
