guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
