When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I love you.
Bad choice
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
