So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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