Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
