Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
