I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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