Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
