PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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