Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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