I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
