I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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