so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
