I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
