grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
