Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
