i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
"it" just moved
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
