my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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