I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
