yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
