I'm gonna have a badass scar
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
